I feel so much better today. I made it to Zumba today - it is sooooo much better than trying to do a tape. I just don't feel motivated or work nearly as hard when I'm trying to do a tape all on my own. My eating still wasn't great yesterday - I told Brock to take the Halloween candy out of the house. It is a trigger for me & I just can't have it in the house. We tried putting it on the top shelf of the pantry, so I would have to get a stool to get to it, but it didn't stop me from grabbing a couple of pieces every few hours. Halloween candy is so bad for me because the pieces are small & don't seem like much, but reality is that if you eat 3-5 then you just had a full size candy bar.
I don't know that I've addressed this on the blog any so far, but I might as well come clean & tell it like it is. After all, that's why I started this blog - to be honest in my journey to becoming healthy. I have an addiction - to food. For those who have never suffered from this, you will not understand what I'm telling you. My husband, bless his heart, tries to understand - but will admit to me that he just can't imagine what it must be like. He does, however, agree totally that it is something that is chemical with me & I cannot control the addiction. What I can control is, putting myself in situations that I know trigger binges. This is something that I've struggled with since high school. I actually went through a really bad time with it around my junior year & bought & hid food & when my parents, who were into country-western dancing at the time, would leave to go out on a Friday night - I would choose to stay home rather than going out with friends & binge. After the binge, I always felt ashamed & proceeded out to the big outside garbage can with any "evidence" of it & disposed of it carefully so that no one would notice when they took out other trash. There are certain foods that are considered "bad" that I can have around me & have no problem, but others are just off limits. Halloween or small individually wrapped candies are one of my triggers, along with mini powdered donuts, brownies, & cheese bread. These are just a few of the major problem-causers for me. Well anyway, the candy is out of the house & I'm starting to come out of the fog.
On a good note, I was down 1.5 lbs on the local challenge today (my weight was up a little when I weighed last week due to water). I am down 1/2 lb today compared to yesterday's steady hold - I won't officially count anything till next week since I'm such a fluctuater. Thanks to all of you who read this & support me daily. I truly appreciate you!! Have a great day!!